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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Envy between bloggers

Envy between bloggers
Hi everyone,

I’ve been blogging for 1 month. That was interesting for many points of view. Practically I discovered a new world. Not a fashion necessarily. I liked many things, mainly that I start to write after such a long time.  In the same time I observed a lot of negative sides that I want to talk about. Who could presume that between bloggers exist such a fiercely competition?! Who could presume that in a such beautiful field like fashion blogging could flow such an amount of ENVY? Just to bring some examples:
- Some people don’t follow/sing in as a members on others blogs just to not increase the members number/audience of that particular blog. BUT they go  daily to check out what’s new on that blog;
- Or they like your blog but they will not sign in for free. They will ask you to follow each other, and they will wait until you’ll sign in first. How weird is that?!
- Some people on Lookbook  will like your outfit, eventually they will leave a comment about BUT they will not hype it;
Some of them will hype it, chic it, plus it etc., BUT they will advise you  (every time they chic’ing/hype’ing your look) to see their outfits (here it not necessary envy, but is not a really a kind way to promote yourself);
- Someone else has more visitors, hypes, luxurious brand, beautiful legs, colaborations and so on.

Envy can be like a tiny devil on your shoulder that whisper words into your ear, gnashes on your soul and makes life into something that is often filled with suffering and much negativity. Or the envy can just be something that irritates and distracts you from time to time. In any case, it doesn't have to be that way. If you want to, then you can at least minimize it in your life.

Focus on yourself when it comes to comparing
The thing is that there is always someone with better or more than you. So you can never "win". A more useful way to compare is to just compare yourself to yourself. Look at how you have grown and what you have achieved. Appreciate what you have done and what you have. See how far you have come and what you are planning to do.

Be grateful for what you got
Besides comparing yourself to yourself it can be helpful to add a regular gratitude exercise to your life to minimize the envy.  So take just two minutes out of your day to focus on being grateful for all the things you got. Make a list of them in your head or write them down in journal at the beginning or end of the day.

Develop an abundance mentality
 Envy often seems to come from a perceived scarcity in some area of your life.
Focusing your mind on the scarcity can really screw with your thoughts, feelings and life.
To get out of this confining and destructive mentality you can choose to focus on the opportunities and the new chances. There are always new business opportunities to find, new tests in school to take and new people to date/make friends with.

Think about what it will cost you
Ask yourself: how will my life look in 1 year if I continue to stay on the same path as now? How will it look in 5 years? How will life likely become worse for me and maybe even for the people around me?  Try to see the negative consequences as vividly as you can in your mind and be honest with yourself about what the envy will cost you in life. Doing so can kickstart your motivation to start making a positive change.

Get a life
If you find yourself sitting around too much and not having enough to do then it's very easy to feel stuck and to get stuck in thought loops and to go into a downward spiral. Simply by filling your life with more fun activities and people and the things you want out of life you won't have time or a reason to be envious. So spend less time analyzing life and more time living and exploring it in whatever way you'd like.

P.S. Dosen't matter the reson for what are doing fashion blog, the most important is to have a beautiful  experience and fulfullment moments that will bring you on happy and winner path.

[RO] Am inceput blogul de o luna. Interesanta experienta  pana aici. Practic am decoperit o lume noua. Si nu e neaparat cea a modei. Mi-au placut multe lucruri, in special faptul ca am revenit la scris dupa atata timp. In acelasi timp, tre sa recunosc, am abservat si lucruri mai putin frumoase despre care as vrea sa vorbesc in acest post. Cine s-ar fi gandit ca intre bloggeri poate exista o concurenta atat de apriga. Sau cine s-ar fi gandit ca intr-un domeniu atat de frumos cum e bloggingul de moda curge atata invidie. Doar cateva exemple care imi stau la indemana:
- unele persoane nu vor deveni niciodata membri unui alt blog doar ca sa nu ii creasca audienta. DAR vor intra zilnic sa verifice ce s-a mai postat nou pe respectivul blog;
- ori le place blogul in sine dar nu  devin amici pe gratis. Deobicei  propun sa “urmaresca” blogurile reciproc si, culmea, astepta sa te inscrii primul/prima pe blogul lor. Cat de ciudat e, nu?
- unii de pe LookBook apreciaza tinutele altora, eventual lasa si un comentariu INSA nu voteaza!
- altii voteaza, comenteaza DAR iti cer imediat sa le vezi si tu tinuta, si asta la fiecare comentariu care il lasa (aici nu e neaparat vorba de invidie ci de o modalitatea nu chiar placuta de a se promova).
- invidia poate isca si atunci cand vezi ca altcineva are mai multi vizitatori, voturi mai multe, branduri de lux, picioare mai frumoase, colaborari sau sponsorizari si asmd.
Invidia e un monstru invizibil care iti sopteste la ureche, iti intuneca sufletul si iti transforma viata intr-o continua suferinta si negativism. Ori invidia poate fi ceva ce deranjeaza si te distrage din cand in cand. In orice caz, nu trebuie sa i se dea apa la moara. Daca iti doresti, poti sa minimalizezi efectele invidiei. Verifica sugestiile care urmeaza:

Concentreaza-te pe tine atunci cand te compare cu altii  
Problema e ca intotdeauna va exista cineva care are mai mult sau e mai priceput decat tine. E o lupta pe care n-ai s-o castigi nicioadata. Mai bine este sa te concentrezi pe persoana ta atunci cand te compari cu altii. Analizeaza cum ai evoluat si ce realizari ai adunat in timp. Cat de departe ai ajuns si ce planifici sa faci in continuare.

Fii recunoscator
Pentru a minimaliza influenta unei invidii ti-as sugera sa incerci un exercitiu de recunostinta. Iti ia doar 2 minute din ziua ta cat sa te concentrezi asupra lucruriloe pentru care esti recunoscator. Compune o lista imaginara sau chiar scrie, daca iti vine mai usor, la inceputul ori sfarsitul zilei. Sa vezi cum  te simti mai bine dupa aceste 2 minute.

Dezvolta o mentalitate proactive si pozitiva
Concentrarea pe neajunsuri o sa iti incetoseze mintea si mai mult. Ca sa iesi din cercul vicios al invidiei concentreaza-te pe oportunitati si sanse noi. Intotdeauna vor exista ocazii noi de afaceri, teste scolare, persoane cu care te poti vedea si lega prietenii, etc.

Gandeste-te cat te costa
Intreaba-te cum va arata viata ta peste 1 an daca continui sa mergi pe aceiasi carare de acum? Cum va arata peste 5? Cum se poate inrautati situatia pentru tine si poate pentru cei din jurul tau?  Incearca sa vezi cat mai clar consecintele  negative si sa fii sincer cu tine. In felul acesta ai sa reusesti sa te motivezi pentru o schimbare pozitiva.

I-ati viata in maini
Daca nu prea ai ce face si nu esti implicat  intr-o activitate e foarte probabil sa te plafonezi destul de curand. Sa intri in cercul vicios al gandurilor negative si a depresiei. Daca te apuci de ceea ce iti place, iti ocupi timpul cu activitati si persoane interesante ori placute nu ai sa mai ai grija altora, si nici invidioas/sa n-ai sa mai fii. Petrece mai putin timp analizand viata si mai mult traind-o in modul cel mai placut posibil. Sa o viata mai implinita!


Source of the types thanks to: http://www.positivityblog.com/

To a happier life,

Nicole

5 comments:

  1. There are some constructive comments in this post. Like it.

    Dissing top LBers in the forum is definitely envy, I think. Sure, sometimes their look is absolutely nothing special, but if you think that, just ignore it and move on. I know it's not fair, but fame's not fair and life's not fair. Get. Over. It.

    I'm jealous of anyone and everyone in one way or another. Everyone wants to be famous! But this jealousy doesn't mean anything to me and I don't express it, at least not maliciously. A touch of jealousy'll make you work harder for yourself if you don't let it manifest into something ugly.

    OMGPLZLOOKATMYBLOGPLEAZPLEASEPLEAZZ joke.

    The Undercover Dress-Up Lover x

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    Replies
    1. :)))))))))))))))))))))) Like your joke and your reply. You know, I think that not all that fashion bloggers will become famous. Important that all this will remain an usefull and nice experience. More fun will bring more positive moments, and more pozitivity will bring more friends. And friends will generate an audience, don't you think? :))

      Thanks for you feedback,
      Hugs

      Delete
  2. foarte adevarat ceea ce ai scris! sincera sa fiu am fost pusa in situatia gen te inscrii tu mai intai si apoi iti voi intoarce asa zisa prietenie. mi se pare putin deplasat, dar cu toate astea se intampla.mie personal imi vine peste mana sa cer asa ceva, e placerea ta daca vrei sa ma vizitezi si daca iti place ce vezi atunci sa te inscrii.
    oricum bravo pt postare, ai subliniat foarte bine ceea ce se intampla.in acelasi timp imi place f mult blogul tau asa ca ma voi alatura grupului tau de prieteni:)esti o draguta!te pup, Miha

    http://handmadebymiky.blogspot.it/

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    Replies
    1. Mihaela iti multumesc pentru feedback, vizita si membership. Ma bucura faptul ca s-a gasit util acest post si ca fetele au intrat fie aici, fie pe forumul de pe Lookbook si au impartasit experienta lor din care toti avem de invatat. E o activitate frumoasa si cred ne mobilizeaza pe toate sa devenim mai stilate, sa ne ingrijim. E fantastic si ar fi pacat sa degenreze in ceva urat. Indiferent de motivele pt care facem fashion blog este important sa ramana o experienta frumoasa si utila.
      Iti multumesc pt ganduri bune,
      Pupic :)

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  3. Multumesc! Chiar cautam un astfel de post pe internet! Si ai dreptate, este plin de invidie. :( Eu cel putin patesc lucruri de genul. Si urasc cand vad ca un blog are peste 90 de membri si doar in jur de 5000-6000 de vizualiari, iar al meu are sublu dar nici 50 de membri. T^T Sunt asa invidioasa!
    Multumesc din nou pentru postul excelent! Ma voi stradui sa urmez fiecare sfat! <3
    Wishing you the best, Lavulin

    ReplyDelete